Instructions for the Maid
by Christopher McCabe

The refrigerator is not worth cleaning
but help yourself to anything there
or in the freezer.  There's some ice
cream and a couple of frozen dinners.

The curtains can stay open
but later in the afternoon
you'll probably want to close them
because it gets hot this side
of the house.

You can leave the dogs in the
backyard.  If you get lonely
or want a break
or if they start to cry,
go ahead, invite them in.

No ironing today.
We just leave the board up.
It's a good place to put
a week's worth of mail.

Leave the bed sheets as they
are.  No need to change them.
They look clean enough.  And
we'll just mess them later.

On the couch between the cushions
you'll find the remote.  If you 
don't like the soap operas, just stretch
out and take a nap.  There are extra
blankets in the closet.

When you wake up 
you might want something
cold. That's what my mother
often said and she was right.  
Dig around in the back of the
freezer for an ice cream bar.

Before you leave
step out to the garden.
Pick some tomatoes
for your family.

And when you go make 
sure to leave the door
unlocked.  I often
forget my keys.